ellemeff: Attempts at Life

Yeah, had a Big Mac for lunch today.  Not feeling too good now.  Matt, if you read this, next time I see you, I'm obligated to be a vegetarian that night.  Print this out and rub my nose in it.

Can't concentrate in class.

I'm totally in love with "The Big Bang Theory" on CBS.  There are people who feel so uncomfortable watching it, but I feel that it's innocent enough that it's not a problem.  For me, at least.  I really appreciate Kunal Nayyar the most - he really makes the show for me; conversely, I feel that there may have been better options than Kaylee Cuoco (though none come to mind at the moment).

I was just going to say that I had nothing to say until I thought of this: Jenna Bush.

It pisses me off that the entire area is making a big deal about her arrival.  I would really hate to be the person living in close proximity to her and her husband - all the press this is generating is exasperating.  So she decided to move to Fed Hill?  So her husband works for Constellation Energy?  That's one more reason to dislike him, in my opinion.  I can't stand Mayo Shattuck, and Molly just irritates me.  I can't make up my mind, however, if that's because she's a trophy wife or because they're rolling in money.

What hypocrisy.  I just looked CE's career postings.  I should be dragged out in the street and shot.  Actually because I want to be rich and greedy and rolling in money, I should actually be strung up by my thumbs.

As much as I want to be pissed about my current (non-graduated) situation, I can't, because I know that I wouldn't be able to get a job in HR if I had graduated.  I'd be stuck in a hole with nowhere to go (hey, that rhymes!) and that would just bite.  Still, it's a wishful situation: I find myself looking at HR jobs I could have a good chance at getting, but I know I'll be more qualified when I'm ready.  I'm just bitter (get over it, Elle).

Which brings me to something else: it irritates me that people in the business world have this vendetta against HR.  I'm willing to concede that in some companies that don't have a good department, HR would actually suck.  Companies that do have a great HR team, though, should be given credit.  There are some people who genuinely care about their jobs and the people that they impact while they're doing their jobs and/or making decisions pertaining to the workforce.  That's just irritating that people take HR's functions for granted, because in many cases, working conditions would be shit without that kind of regulation.  I'm fortunate to work with a team that is amazing at what they do.  The Assistant knows literally everyone and everything that is going on in the organization, no small feat when you think about what goes into even a mid-sized company (which I work for).  That's a lot of stuff to keep track of, a lot of politics to watch out for, a lot of things to watch for that are being thrown your way.

I used to work for an organization whose HR left much to be desired.  That's all I'm going to say.

I think my dog hates that I make him feel/seem subordinate to me.  This dog is so funny.

Oh, so last week I saw an old friend who I had a falling out with some months ago.  We actually live near each other, and I'm surprised it's taken this long for us to get a glance at each other; our falling out was over a year ago.  I'm not experiencing any heartbreak over it, though I thought it was funny that this person thought it necessary to tear through the intersection we were both stopped at after the light turned green.  I can take this one of a few ways:

1.  That he assumes I have some kind of ridiculous emotion to him/his car and feels the need to emphasize on this (theoretical) fact.  [If this is the case, it's really not that serious.  I don't have any kind of feelings about anything, though a year ago I was still fuming about something.  Besides, I know the Accord has something like 210hp, tearing out of the intersection like that does nothing but waste one's gas.]

2.  That he's still irritated and doesn't want to look at me.  [Which would amuse me greatly.  We exist, we might as well coexist peacefully.]

3.  That he probably thought I would pull an ignorant driver move and attempt to beat him out at the light in order to cut in front of him (a frequent occurrence until the HOA put in two designated lanes).  [It's ridiculous.  I can drive like a moron frequently, but it raises my blood pressure when someone does that to me, and therefore I am in no position or want to be a hypocrite.]

Perhaps that I'm writing about it just proves that I'm still irritated about the whole situation in some way, shape, or form.  Whatever, I'm working on getting over it.

My boyfriend and I are planning a trip to Montreal, which is incredibly exciting.  Honestly, I feel so grown up!  I'm sure my father will have a cow, but no matter, he's not paying for the trip, and I'm frankly in a position to be making these kinds of decisions, anyway.  (Good Lord, who am I justifying these decisions to??  I must be trying to just reassure myself.) 

Le boyfriend bought a Wii and I want to play Mario. 

...But I felt awful about not paying attention in class.  Now, it wasn't that the class was not interesting, because it was.  There was discussion about the place of the Hmong refugees between 1970-1990s in the U.S. (the class I was zoning out in is Asian-Am history), but I'd already had an examination of that particular group during my first semester at Towson, and didn't feel like listening to one again.  Tou Ger Xiong, though...that guy's the shizz; youtube him and you'll understand exactly what I'm talking about.  Happyslip taken to a new level.  But I digress...I got an A on the midterm, I'll be okay.

Yesterday, my Women's Studies class was the most eventful its been all semester.  First, there was peer editing of our essays regarding pressing women's issues.  Let me put forth right now that I thought that assignment was crap.  Yes, I understand that I as a woman should probably be more invested in the issues facing me today, but at this point in my life, at this very moment, I couldn't give two shits less.  (That's funny...Leopard doesn't think "shits" is incorrect, but "okay" is?.)  I'm tired, grumpy, exhausted (tired), and under intense pressure from everything - right now, I don't care if I'm making $0.80 less an hour than the guy in my same job...give me another eight months for that.  (I've also just realized in saying that, I've become the embodiment of the apathetic America I hate so much.)  At any rate, I wrote some essay about self-perception and body image, and managed to successfully pull off some BS about government-funded positive body-image education initiatives (try saying that three times fast) as a potential solution (yeah, I don't buy it, either...it was for the sake of the paper/grade).  I'd like to think I write well enough to fool most people into thinking I actually know what I'm talking about, but it became evident to me that I only write well enough to befuddle some.  A girl actually suggested that I dumb-down the language in my essay, and that I should "consider my audience."

Um...except my audience would be her?  That blows my mind that this was told to me by a peer in an upper-level course for the purposes of developing/honing upper-level writing skills.   Maybe it's me.  Maybe I'm in the wrong, and I'm expecting too much of my peers.  Honestly though, if a student's purpose in obtaining a bachelors is to prove to prospective employers that s/he can be a well-, or at least adequately-trained monkey who can read/write, why don't they make it worthwhile?  Whatever...I'm getting frustrated just thinking about it.

Anyway, the other thing that made class interesting was a discussion of Alice Walker's "Am I Blue?"  [Now, I make every possible NOT to read material in my gen ed classes in order to free up time for working/sleeping/eating/doing work for other courses (maybe!), and thusly I develop my arguments based on the context of the discussion (haven't put my foot in my mouth yet, still waiting for that one).]  Apparently, it was a non-fiction essay based around the ethical treatment of animals and how the hierarchies created by humans to justify such treatment are merely an evolution of how humans used to treat each other (in the context of slavery in the U.S.).  I just had so much trouble conceiving it as a believable argument on the moral level, primarily because it:

1. Equated human-human treatment to human-animal treatment
2. Was an ridiculous anthropomorphism of an animal in relation to human events/reality

And because it assumed:

1. A direct correlation between humankind's (ability/propensity for) compassion and modernization
2. There are no enlightened individuals who think about our justification for how we as a society treat animals (I have)

Apparently, because I so vehemently disagreed with Walker's statement, and because I actually eat meat (and *gasp* like it!), I was a branded a bad person.  Honestly, if I liked foie gras, I wouldn't appreciate having someone's personal values shoved down my throat if I was aware of where the product was coming from, and the manner in which it was being produced.  One of the primary arguments for Walker's work was that overconsumption is driving humans to resort to things like factory farming - and I agree that's not correct.  However, it's a condition of the world we live in, and that people need jobs to make money affects them more than if a cow is happy or not.  I'm not saying it's right, but what kinds of concessions do humans need to make for the sake of nature's general conscience?  I know Sammie has feelings, but if WWIII breaks out, he's the first to be eaten.  (I don't take that lightly, either.  I consider him my little brother, and love him as such, but in a dire situation, eating him is a more attractive first resort than eating another person.)

Man, I really wish I had more time to devote to this blog.  I have so much stuff that's on my mind, I have so much to write about, and I want an outlet for it (this).  Maybe in a few weeks.

On another note, something for when I get rich enough to tour Europe:

Palio di Siena

...I can never remember what I do at work all day that constitutes me only having five minutes for lunch???  I know I'm incredibly busy in some way, but I just can't figure it all out.  Oh, I know why...the NQ thing I had to go over three times because my numbers weren't right.  That was a really sink-or-swim experience.

Oh god, it just took half an hour for the clothes washer to fill.  This is ridiculous.  The contractors have to take a look at this before they go, otherwise I might find myself shitting octagonal bricks when I do laundry every weekend.  Apparently I'll be completely unable to ever even consider having someone do work on a home I own because I'd micromanage every little detail.

God, how DOES Aaron put up with it?

Yep....

...Haven't been making great strides to hit the gym (shut up).  I don't have an excuse...well, all I have are excuses, and no good reasons.  

I got offered the internship that I really wanted about a week ago, and I started on Monday (short notice, ya!?!).  I love it - I actually have real duties!  The thing is, I've also been trying to finish up at the job that I hold currently; this week is my last week there, but it's a pain in the ass to maneuver between two jobs, and school.  After this week, though, I'll be reestablishing a routine at the gym.

http://www.time.com/time/business/article/0,8599,1702277,00.html

It seems that McDonald's is going to attempt to compete with Starbucks for their market.  While this is perfectly sensible from a business standpoint, this makes absolutely no sense to the consumer.  Why?  People don't go to Starbucks for their coffee.  Plain and simple: Starbucks coffee is crap.  It's bitter, it's burnt, and it's overpriced.  But the drinks are creative, and they're innovative, and OH WAIT - THE PLACE IS TRENDY.  Starbucks?  Trendy.  McDonald's?  Not so much. 

I go to Starbucks expecting a certain level of service and quality from the people themselves, if not the drinks. I think of Starbucks, I think of the green aprons and cute girls with ponytails and manicures.  And yes, I think of the attitude that's associated with Starbucks - the whole exclusivity of having a special drink (assuming that one does get something completely catered to their needs...I do!) and all of the cool, kitschy things along the walls. 

I don't associate McDonald's with hip, trendy, or cosmopolitan; I associate McDonald's with all the negative characteristics that all fast-food joints have; including those ignorant individuals who act so undeservingly entitled to...whatever it is they feel entitled to (READ: I've had one too many bad experiences with ignorant people working at fast food restaurants).  Further, McDonald's isn't the epitome of customizable nosh - when I DO decide to order a double cheeseburger from Mickey Dee's, half of the time it still comes with the pickles that I specifically requested not to be included in my sandwich - at those times I really long to incite the reapers.  God only knows what would happen to that tall-half-caf-skim-sugar-free-vanilla-caramel-macchiato-esque drink that would be ordered from, God forbid, one of those incredibly unpleasant people at one of the McDonald's in my area.  They'd probably spit in my drink.

Even if the coffee is better at McDonald's, I'm much happier paying the extra money for something slightly more bitter and burnt, knowing that the Starbuchs barista who was taking my order, calling it out, or making it was pleasant and had no grudges against me because I actually made them do their job.  As perverse and sadistic as that sounds, to me, excellent customer service is sometimes more valuable - and palatable - than food.  All I ask is to be treated well by the person whose wages I'm contributing to, rather than to be made to feel like a burden because I interrupted their conversation.

Of course, I do have an espresso machine at home.

A few minutes ago, I ordered Frederic Delavier's Strength Training Anatomy, a book on weight training.  I love it, it's totally comprehensive and not too technical, but technical enough so that you can actually learn a thing or two about muscles and the muscle groups.  I was first introduced to the book when my boyfriend picked it up to buy for his friend; over the course of the last two months, I've tried shamelessly to seduce it from him, but alas, Joseph got it anyway.

So, I've gone to the gym three times this week!  On Monday and Wednesday, I did just cardio - it was really hard for me to get the motivation to go to the gym on Monday because of a whole lot of shifting around in my life - and on Tuesday, I did cardio and strength training.  I found that I really like the bike best, but I feel like I'm really neglecting the other muscle groups in my leg.  Maybe I feel that way just because I can really feel the burn in my quadriceps and nowhere else.

 That's depressing.  Now that the holidays are over, and now that my life is back in order, I'm hoping that I can really get back into the flow of things and go at least the aforementioned self-promised three days a week.  I'm really hoping to get in five, but I'm not going to push the envelope tomorrow.